Unpublished Posts

I found this post from 2012 in draft form and thought it might be time to publish it as a reminder to myself of just how good life is:

For feet that run so far my toenails turn black For cats that sit on the kitchen table to be closer to my typing fingers For the beautiful girl sleeping on my couch (please, stay near...) For the tonic in my fridge, the muffins in my oven For a job that makes a difference, allows me the freedom I crave, and taught me there just might be a "career" for me For a love who is always always always happy to see me, is consistent in every way, makes me want to be better, and catches delicious fishes! For growing relationships with family For 6 jars of honey, all different For the air that intoxicates and the sun that tickles my soul For the friends who have not only stayed, but have worked with me to allow ourselves to grow, together For the ability to put fresh fruits and vegetables together to create something delicious

And then these few unpublished lines from June 2013, just two months after the Boston marathon:

Clean and beautiful. This summer the lake will take the dust that is settling upon me far from me so that I can carry on and be better without being stained. I see smoke but the smoke cannot keep me, and I have an ache that can't have me.

And then almost 2 years later, April 2015:
Friday morning, after a week of post-race fatigue following a 20k trail race and a 77.7 mile bike/run around Seneca Lake, I wiggled out of bed, made myself tea and oats, wandered around my tiny kitchen marveling at our renovation progress, filled my bladder half way, spent a little more time than usual chatting with the chickens, grabbed warmer gloves, made a mental note that my car could use a wash, and made my way to the trail. I was quiet, and my stomach flitted with excitement. I needed more sleep. And I couldn't wait to run. Welcome to my world. I don't write about this much, as it's a part of my life that is so integral to the core of who I am that I don't feel the need to share it or explain it. It's not the run, per se, but rather the way my body, my mind, my entire being is released from the grip of every other part of its self. It's the stepping away from all the things that define me, the allowing me to just be me, in whatever mental and physical state I find myself in a given moment. It is freedom.

And now, in July 2016, I am reminded just how good life has been to me. And I am grateful.