Yesterday I went for a run simply to be in the sun. I started out aggitated and ended calm. That's why I run.
I took a hot shower, put on my sweatpants, made a half a pot of coffee, opened every blind in the house, and lit some incense. Music seemed to be the next step. I fiddled and faddles with the DVD player but Jason Upton would not sing. Five minutes later I looked at the window of light illuminating the couch and decided maybe this was exactly what I needed, exactly what I'd been avoiding for months- a completely quiet house with nothing to distract me from my self. I crawled onto the couch and sat in that section of sun. It warmed me completely and instantly. I sat there for almost two hours, drinking coffee, writing notes, thinking.
coffee brewing, incense burning, books and notebooks laying open around me..
THAT'S what I've been missing in my life. That's what I crave.
Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Truman Capote:
I've read that past and future are a spiral, one coil containing the next and predicting its theme. Perhaps this is so; but my own life has seemed to me more a series of closed circles, rings that do not evolve with the freedom of a spiral: for me to get from one to the other has meant a leap, not a glide. What weakens me is the lull between, the wait before I know where to jump.
And then there's the sustenance:
Blessed is the man who listens to me,
watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway.
For whoever finds me, finds life
and receives favor from the LORD.