July 17, 2019

Balance. 6 1/2 months postpartum, am I finally realizing what that might be?
Maybe for me it is
not running an hour on weekdays and 2+ hours on weekends
letting my baby fall asleep in my arms and lingering with her there long after she has fallen asleep. because the very best thing in the world is to have her in my arms - safe, contented, at rest.
maybe it is doing a 30 minute PiYo workout, feeling my body flow smoothly through the motions, and letting that be enough for the day. taking a moment to sit and write. making a cup of tea and sitting to taste it. not looking at my phone impulsively.

letting great moments go un-photographed.

i never thought running would take the back seat that it has taken. i thought it might have to, but that i would fight to keep it at the forefront of my priority list. but it's slipping out of focus, and i'm okay with that. i run hard on the treadmill when i want to, putts slowly through the forest when i can, take the whole pack out with the jogging stroller on occasion. but i feel calm about it. it is losing its grip on my life. and i like that. i think i've always wanted that on some level, but have been too afraid of it, and had no real reason to allow it to morph so drastically into something different.

I still picture myself running through the quiet forest, dancing along the rolling trails for days at a time, but my happy place has expanded to include something else, someone else. and I really like that.

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