January 2, 2009

The dirt between my toes.

I'm going to Ghana (!!) for two weeks in March. We're building a school...working with kids..
for a long time now I've wanted more. I've been restless, anxious, dissatisfied, hungry for the rawness of realities I've caught glimpses of but never walked in myself.

I want the dirt between my toes and those big dark eyes staring into my own, breaking my ignorance, giving names and faces and places to my dreams.. something they've never had before.

Three weeks ago I graduated from college, something I never saw happening. Not because I didn't believe I could, I never doubted that I would, but college seemed like it, over time it began to seem like the thing I would do. The people, the place- it was all that mattered while I was there. When I found out I could graduate early my heart sped up and one by one my dreams began to resurface.. that moment of realization was a gulp of air I didn't realize I wasn't taking until I took it.

I spent a half hour in the hot tub staring up into the sky, into the darkness, and I made a declaration:

My God is the God of more than enough. More than enough Love, more than enough hope, more than enough inspiration, more than enough reason, more than enough comraderie, more than enough justice, more than enough courage, more than enough mercy, more than enough compassion, more than enough grace, more than enough encouragement, more than enough strength, more than enough joy. With my God, I will lack nothing; I will never be alone. I will never have insufficient supply. Never. Not if He's my everything. Not if He's holding me, carrying me, leading me, directing me, dreaming for me, living through me.

I'll claim that. Yeah, I'll take that.

You are more than enough. You're my more than enough.

If I go to Global Awakening, or if I don't. If I sit before Him, waiting quietly for the sounds of heaven to reverberate deep within my Spirit, that I might play His heart back to Him, or if I don't. If I rub the earth of many nations between my fingers, or if I don't. If I hold many children, rocking back and forth, back and forth on the floor, or if I don't. If I see nations rise or nations fall. If I pour my life into many or into few. If I eat steak or if I eat leaves. If I see people fight or shrink back. If I write many verses or no verses. If I walk or if I run. If I am beautiful or if I am waning...
Dearly Beloved of my soul, You are more than enough.

And for me, that's enough.

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." -2 corinthians 9:8


Heather on January 2, 2009 at 10:14 PM said...

=] <3 <3


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