I'm feeling compelled to write a bit so I figured why not share it with a few people.
My soul is overwhelmed; I am full and empty at the very same time. There's a beauty I believe in, a beauty I cannot shake, and I want more than anything to get lost in it.. all day, every day. I want it to be my life.
I'm not my "successful" brother. I'm not my overachieving sister. I'm not my practical, set-for-life best friend. I'm not my endlessly working dad. I'm not.. a lot of things.
but I hear a song. It's inside of me.. deep, deep inside of me. And it wants to come out. It wants to flow out of me and be my life, not just a part of my life. It wants to carry me away with every progression and every note, be them right or wrong..
I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to take a chance. What I'm afraid of is not taking any chances; of living a reasonable, safe, typical life. It seems to work for a lot of people, a whole lot of people, actually, and there's a lot I have yet to figure out about myself..
but I know enough to know that's not the life I want. I know enough to know that life will never fullfill me, satisfy me, bring me life, "work" for me. And I really don't want it to.
With the very life of Christ pulsing through my veins, I refuse to settle for anything less than LIFE, and that to the very fullest. To settle for anything less is to forfeit the truly incredible capacity of what I believe in more than I believe in anything else.. and that's something my insides won't let me do.
"one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus..." (phil. 3:13-14)