July 12, 2009


energy is threatening to spurt out of me every which way one of these days i will able to withhold it no longer when that happens i will do something that will seem crazy to you know that while i may not know exactly what im doing i know that im doing what i need to do and ill be okay ill be better off ill understand something i didnt understand before something i need to understand in order to go any further in this life ill be more me more full more free society doesnt give enough credit to such things but they are things i cant keep shoving aside simply because they tell me i must no no i must respond thats what i must do

youll call it drastic crazy illogical idealistic unrealistic foolish you wont understand but thats okay im okay with that i wont be angry or bitter or hurt but it wont stop me either ill keep going or maybe ill already be on my way by the time you find out in which case please pass a happy thought for me or dont but dont pass a harsh one either i know im not exactly the american idol or even at all but im me and the longer i linger the more of me i lose so know that im not lingering anymore im out there im wild im free there will be bad nights and brilliant nights warm nights and lonely nights with melodies and some composed of silence i will know me finally i just might know me and ill know them and ill see life and ill become a part of something much bigger and broader than what ive believed ill have less and gain just as ive been wanting just as ive been longing

its been in me a long time but its becoming more prominent these days much louder i cant quiet it cant still it cant ask to settle down and be content i dont have plans yet i have a plan i get squirmish at the thought soon i wont be able to sleep but still i will hold my hot tea stare at the sky and be still for no matter how far i go how fast im going there will always be more to unravel in the quiet


Heather on July 13, 2009 at 3:00 PM said...

my heart gets this....this quote has had me thinking of you, me and other ppl who do "crazy" things....

"My soul has been filled with a constant inner joy that is sometimes so overwhelming I feel compelled to do
what may seem to some as childish things in order to prevent the feeling from becoming too intense"-brother lawrence

Kendralee* on July 13, 2009 at 9:23 PM said...

yes! this is an EXCELLENT book.


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